If you’re trying to discern whether you’re (falling) in love, look for genuine, ongoing feelings-feelings beyond the emotional “high” that usually happens at the start of a relationship, says Manly. “With both crushes and infatuations, illusions and projections tend to run the show.” “However, infatuation lacks the vulnerability and intimate connection that allows true love to unfold,” she explains. Infatuation, she adds, is “a step beyond a crush” and is typically accompanied by strong sexual attraction. “In the crush stage of a relationship, romantic feelings are based on superficial qualities rather than personal interactions and a true ‘knowing’ of the other person,” says Manly. But over time, a few key differences start to emerge, says Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist, author of Date Smart, and host of the Imperfect Love podcast. It can be difficult to tell, especially at the start of a new connection when feelings are heightened. How do you know if it’s a deep crush, infatuation, or if you’re truly falling in love? Or maybe, you’ve had a crush on someone for years and the butterflies just won’t go away. Picture this: You're in the honeymoon phase with your partner, and every time you look at them, you think, Wait, am I in love?! Or this: You just made small talk with someone on the subway, and you’re convinced it’s love at first sight.
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